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WAYS OF STYLE

How To Feel Less Lonely During The Holidays

in Lifestyle on 12/11/19

I remember it all too well. I went from spending the Holidays with so many friends, loved ones and family to all the sudden being alone during a very cold Chicago Winter (and it was also my first Winter there). It was rough. That’s why I wanted to share what helped me get through and how to feel less lonely during the Holidays (and in life in general if you are going through rough patch).

The same year I moved to Chicago, I found myself going through a divorce, being single for the first time since I was 15 years old (I was 27 at the time) and dealing with so many fears, severe anxiety, panic attacks and depression. I didn’t know who I was and I was desperate to find out. My previous and only home until I was almost 27 years old was in Venezuela, so I wasn’t used to the frigid Chicago temperatures, which I’m sure it didn’t help either.

How to feel less lovely during the Holiday season

How to feel less lonely during the Holiday season

The hardest days of my life…

I was in the darkness for such a long time. Sad, dealing with abandonment issues, with no friends and no one to talk to about what I was going through. I had NO IDEA who I was and what I wanted to do with my life either. It was so confusing and so hard. So believe me when I tell you that I know. I know what it’s like. I know how hard this time of the year can be. I’ve never felt so alone like I did 4-5 years ago, but somehow I’m here. I survived and so will you.

If I learned anything from those dark years, is that I’m so much stronger than I think I am. I never really had to deal with anything super bad until I was 27 years old, so I think I can consider myself lucky for that… even though my entire life collapsed, it was the best thing that ever happened to me!! I’m serious!!!

When things went south, everything fell apart, all at once and of course being in Chicago during the coldest Winter ever did not help at all. I found myself alone, with no job, no money, no plan, no idea about who I was, depressed, considered killing myself in several ways, lost all my friends and since I’m being fully transparent, showers were always optional…. It was horrible and just thinking about it right now makes me want to cry. I didn’t know what to do, how to fix it or how to feel less lonely.

However, I did have all the time in the world to think, which can be a bad thing, but it can also be very good. Here are some of the things I did to slowly get out of the darkest place I’ve been in my life:

How to feel less lonely – What to do.

1. Disconnect from social media.

Social media can be draining, specially during the Holidays. If you are going through something hard, it might be hard to see everyone so cheerful and happy. This doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you!! It’s perfectly normal. I was never really jealous or wishing harm to anyone, don’t get me wrong, but I felt devastated every time I saw everyone’s photos smiling and being happy while I was at home crying, a little bit stinky (LOL), broke and alone. So alone eating mac & cheese on my couch while watching Gilmore Girls on repeat.

Back then I disconnected, right now I can tell you to mute most of the accounts you follow and only keep the ones that make you grow. For example if you believe in God, leave the ones that post prayers. If you are looking to grow, leave the inspirational ones or the enneagram ones. It’s up to you. Do what’s right for you.

2. Consider volunteering.

Helping others can be a great distraction and it can bring great satisfaction too, not to mention actually improving someone else’s life.

I love volunteering because it always puts things in perspective for me. It brings me down to earth and I just love serving others and making other people happy. If you go to Church, get involved with them, they always have amazing serving opportunities available. This is also a great way to meet and socialize with other people! I recommend volunteering all the time, but specially right now, if you are alone, I encourage you to go out there and make the world a better place. Nothing bad will come out of that.

3. Connect with yourself.

I know this one is a little cliche, but to get out of a dark place, it all starts with you.

One day you just have to wake up and start doing little things that are good for you. It can be working out, reading a book, or even something as simple as finally taking a shower.

Read about self grow. I can’t recommend learning about the Enneagram enough! (I wrote a blog post here with a ton of great resources). If you believe in God, pray. Connect with yourself through God. My life was forever changed during that hard season, because God became my #1 priority (still is).

I had to do a lot of work within myself, a lot of healing and forgiveness. It took a long time, but it was worth it and it made me who I am today. It made me a better version of me. It made me the person that G fell in love with. You guys would not believe how mean, upset, bitter and unhappy I was 5 years ago. It feels liberating not being that person anymore.

4. Find friends in your city.

I lost all my friends after I got divorced. It’s a hard and complicated story to share, but that’s the short version.

I was alone, and my sister Alicia who has always been and still is my best friend, was still in Venezuela back then. I had other friends and of course family, but none of them were here in Chicago, so I had a hard time talking to someone face to face.

Thankfully, Church saved me. I know God always has my back and looking back, he also did back then. One day I went to Church and I met a couple of the closest friends I still have right now. I know how hard it is to make friends as you get older, but I promise, there are other people out there just like you trying to make new friends too.

Download Bumble, I think they have an option if you are just looking to make friends. Also, I invite you tor read the comments in this post by Danielle Moss and also in this one. This one is the updated Holiday version, check it out here. Actually if you go to her blog and type ‘Find a friend in your city’ in the search bar, there are a ton of these posts with hundreds of comments from people in different cities all over the US. Find someone to connect with! Good friends and having someone to talk to really makes all the difference.

5. Get help.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, if you feel like you can’t get out of this on your own, please get help. It’s a simple google search. I never really had to do this, but I was very close. Here are some of the things I found online: Suicide Prevention Lifeline, Help Guide if you are feeling suicidal or read about depression here. Maybe it’s not you, but a loved one who needs your help.

Never forget, that it all starts with you. It’s ok to be sad and to cry, but at some point you need to do something about it. Keep yourself busy, but with purpose. Don’t make yourself busy just so you don’t have to deal with the pain, this never works and it will make things worse. Take this opportunity to grow.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry. If you decided to read this post because somehow you relate.

I’m truly sorry you are going through something hard and feel alone during this time of the year. I know how hard it is. But I also know things get better. I promise. I know it’s cliché, but I know things do get better. I am living proof of that.

I hope you have the strength to do some of these things. I hope you find a way and learn how to feel less lonely and I hope your life changes for the better. Rough patches are a part of life, and it is up to us to find the hidden lesson and use this opportunity to grow and become a better human.

Sending you so much love and hope you find this post useful and that it makes you feel hopeful. Sometimes hope is all you need.

Thanks so much for stopping by!

XO,

Aimara

Anything from this post helped you how to feel less lonely? Please share it!

How to feel less lonely during the Holidays Pinterest Pin

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1 Comment

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Comments

  1. Gemma says

    December 12, 2019 at 12:57 pm

    Literally crying. Thank you so much for sharing this… i’m emailing you right now ?

    Reply

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About Aimara

Hi! I’m Aimara and I’m the voice behind Ways of Style.

I created this Blog as a space to express my thoughts and life experiences while wearing cute outfits of course! What started as a hobby is now my full time job and I’m here to encourage you to always be yourself, work hard and to always show up until your dreams come true. Read More…

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I have a million photos to post! Trying to catch u I have a million photos to post! Trying to catch up here but somehow I never seem to sit down and share stuff in this account. I guess I like our travel account better! 😜 @waysoftheworld_ 

I’ve been trying to stay active with travel outfits and styling tips on the @shop.ltk app, so if you are interest you can check them all out by clicking the link in my bio. This dress was one of the best pieces I packed this time! It’s so cute for photos with any background basically!

We are currently on day 53 our of our 70 day trip through the Yucatan Peninsula 🤯 We’ve been to Cozumel, Punta Allen, Bacalar, Campeche, Merida and today we made it to Valladolid. We have one more stop before spending a week in Mexico City with family and then off to a new country we go! This lifestyle comes with its unexpected challenges, but we wouldn’t change it for anything!! 💕

Let this be a reminder to keep working hard to make your dreams happen! We are actively doing that right with @waysoftheworld_ 🙃 Hoping things end up working out for us!
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#waysofstyle #campechemexico #travelblog #travelvlog #seetheworld #visitmexico #mexicotravel
What a crazy feeling when you start loving somethi What a crazy feeling when you start loving something you once thought was scary. It really makes you realize that fear is not real and exists only in your mind.

Never stop pursuing what sets your heart on fire. Even if it’s scary. And if you don’t know what that is yet, I encourage you to make the time to find out 💙

PS: this photo was taken on a scuba dive trip while in Cozumel a couple of weeks ago. If you ever find yourself there, do yourself a favor and do it with @scubatonycozumel 🤿 You will not regret it!

We are currently slow traveling through the Yucatan peninsula. We are having the time of our lives and documenting it all on @waysoftheworld_ 🌎 See you there? 🙃
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Yesterday we had a full day of exploring different Yesterday we had a full day of exploring different places and I needed different outfits but I didn’t have space to bring a whole new look. That’s when button down shirts + sneakers come handy! 

In the morning we went to the beach to snorkel and in the afternoon we explored Mayan ruins and had drinks and dinner. I needed sun protection and sneakers because they don’t recommend to walk the ruins in sandals (uneven terrain). I was able to change the wet bathing suit at the beach restaurant and didn’! get sunburn! Win win!!

PS: you can now shop all my looks via the @shop.ltk app ☺️ or via stories!
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🎅🏽 GIVEAWAY TIME!!!! 🎅🏽 Giveaway close 🎅🏽 GIVEAWAY TIME!!!! 🎅🏽 Giveaway closed! Winner @_downbythesea_ 

This little device has made a huge difference in how I travel! I barely have to worry about shaving thanks to laser hair removal 🙌🏻 And today, I’m teaming up with @silknsolution to give one away to one of YOU! 🌟

It’s super easy to enter:

1️⃣ FOLLOW me @waysofstyle & @silknsolution
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3️⃣ TAG a friend (each comment with a tag is a separate entry)
4️⃣ BONUS post this photo on your story and tag me! 

Winner will be announced this weekend!! Good luck everyone ❤️

Giveaway not associated with Instagram or Facebook. US or CAD residents only.
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Back home after spending the best 3 months of my l Back home after spending the best 3 months of my life in Turkey 🇹🇷❤️

We definitely left a piece of our hearts there, but we also learned so much and we know we will be back many times! And it feels good to be with family this time of the year.

I know I didn’t do a good job at posting in here. Honestly, I thought it was going to be easier, but starting a new Instagram, blog and YouTube channel from scratch for @waysoftheworld_ took a lot more time than I ever thought it would! So now, I’ll try to share some of my favorite photos from this trip in here because it’s never too late 🙃

This one was taken in a small mediterranean town called Kas. It was one of our favorite places in all of Turkey! It’s the perfect vacation spot to just enjoy life 💕

Feels good to be back! Hope everyone has a great week ahead and thanks so much for being here!!
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#waysofstyle #travelstyle #kasturkey #vacationlooks #capsulewardrobe #experiencesoverthings #turkeytravel #visitturkey
Sharing 25 travel outfit ideas I created with the Sharing 25 travel outfit ideas I created with the best 7 pieces I packed! 🙌🏻

I believe these 7 pieces are not only good for traveling, but to add as part of your capsule wardrobe if you are thinking about starting to live with less things. I promise you won’t regret it!

I hope you find it useful and that you feel inspired to recreate any of these looks with pieces you already have in your closet. If you have any questions, let me know! I’m always here to help 🙂

Happy Monday ❤️
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Turkey has been incredible. We are blown away by h Turkey has been incredible. We are blown away by how beautiful it is, all the different landscapes, the food, and above everything, the people ❤️

Looking back to a few weeks ago when I was really afraid of going on this trip, thinking about all the things that could go wrong, being a little upset with myself in a way for not wanting the traditional life path I always thought was my only choice; get married, buy a house, have kids, save money and travel when you retire. That’s not for me. 

I’m very happy I followed my heart 💕 I wrote a letter to myself on the blog: “What’s the best that can happen if the worst happens?” You can check it out by clicking the link in my bio. I hope it inspires you to think about what YOU really want in your heart, make a plan and go after it (but be patient). I promise that if I did it, so can you.

You have everything it takes ❤️

Link in bio to read.
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I basically only wear olive green and white now 😂 

Our days in beautiful Kas are almost over. I’m leaving a piece of my heart in this cute little town and we will definitely be back! Now it’s time to hop on a 6 hour bus to Pamukkale and see what that place is all about! 

Honestly, the only reason we are going there is because of me. G is not too crazy about it, but I’ve seen it on Instagram so much that I wanted to see for myself what the buzz was all about. So I’ll keep you posted on what it actually is!

If you are interested in knowing more about Kas (and all the amazing places we are visiting) we share a lot more on @waysoftheworld_ 💞 
We talk about useful tips, costs, best things we do, where we stay and so much more. I also update those stories daily! So I hope to see you there 🙃

Until next time friends 👋🏻
…
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I was brave 💙 This was the most amazing experi I was brave 💙

This was the most amazing experience. I was SO nervous and anxious before but somehow I managed to push through and tried this very scary thing for the first time. And you know what I learned? That I loved it! I would do it again a million times! It wasn’t scary at all. It was all in my head and it wasn’t real. Also, they had the sweetest dog at the shop named Lucy that really help me not to think about it (swipe to see her 😍)

We didn’t do any crazy tricks like G did and it was a very peaceful flight. It’s up to you how you want to do it.

I can see why Ölüdeniz is one of the top places in the world to go paragliding. If you only want to do it once to cross it off your bucket list, this is the place you go to. We shared a post about with useful information in case you are interested. Link in bio + stories.

Would you do it? 🙃
Make sure to follow our adventures around Turkey on @waysoftheworld_ 🙏🏻
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