Hello everyone! Today is my birthday! YAY!
I can’t even begin to express the amount of emotions I’m experiencing right now! Today I’m turning 30 and my life looks nothing like I had planned, that’s why I wanted to write a little letter to myself about what I learned during my 20’s and what I look forward to for this new decade. So join me, would you?
I was just reading the post I wrote last year for my birthday and I feel like I’m a whole new different person today. It’s crazy how much someone can change over a year and how things change when you are positive & optimistic and just grateful to be here… grateful for being alive. I started my 29th year of life full of hope and happiness, because I was finally over my divorce, and now I’m even happier than I was then, which is pretty incredible because I didn’t think it was possible.
After moving to a different country with NOTHING but hope, getting a divorce and spending a year and a half trying to figure out who I was after it ended, things all the sudden changed after I turned 29. I met the person who I think is my soulmate, I’m doing what I love for a living, my sister is finally moving to Chicago (I haven’t seen her in over two years!) and I’m surrounded by the most amazing family & group of friends who have my back at ALL times. I have all the things I’ve prayed for. At least most of them.
However, it hasn’t always been like that. Unfortunately, I learned all my important life lessons during my late 20’s and I really wish I knew some of these things earlier in life. I’m sharing them because I don’t want the same thing to happen to you. That’s why I came up with this post about all the ‘Lessons I learned during my twenties’ from start to finish! Hope it helps!
Ready? Here we go!
- It’s ok to be you & to put yourself first. I lost my identity during my twenties. I studied the wrong career, got married way too young, had some friends that weren’t good for me, amongst many other things. Don’t do that to yourself. Do what you love, put yourself first. If you’re not happy with yourself and with what you do, you will not find happiness anywhere else. It’s ok to be you. Understand that if there are people in your life that are not ok with who you really are, they should not be in your life to begin with.
- Being alone is actually pretty cool. I spent most of my 20’s in a relationship that started when I was 15 and when it didn’t work out as I expected, I freaked out. I had no idea how to be alone. I literally wanted to die. It was my first and only heartbreak and it was horrible! I couldn’t stop crying or get myself together. It took me a while to realize that despite losing my best friend and having a major life change, what I was really afraid of, was being alone. After realizing that, I decided to spend time by myself and learned how to love who I am. It has been the best decision I’ve made so far!
- Family really is everything. Don’t ever doubt that. And by family, I not only mean blood relatives, but those friends that become like family too. Value them, cherish them. They will be the ones standing next to you when you’re down and they will also be there to lift you back up. Don’t push away the people who love you the most and listen to them. They only want what’s best for you.
- What other people say, really does not matter. In the end, it is your life. You choose who’s a part of it and who’s not, so choose these people wisely. Make sure everyone in your life is helping you become a better person every single day and only care about the opinion of the people you love and that love you the same way. These are the ones who truly care about your happiness.
- It’s definitely OK to start thinking about your future and save money. Oh this one… No, you are not too young to start thinking about your future, and no, it’s not OK to think that a wealthy spouse will take care of you. Maybe you’re lucky enough to have someone else cover your finances and that’s completely fine, but in case no one does, you should definitely start thinking about your retirement in your early 20’s. Please don’t ignore this one like I did hahaha. I don’t owe any money and that’s good, but I also do not have any savings! I’m starting to get better at this though. It’s never too late.
- Material things are not that important. If I would have known this, I would have savings! Don’t get me wrong on this one, it’s ok to own and buy things, but when not having them takes happiness away from you, these things OWN YOU, and not the other way around. Be mindful about what you spend your money on and what need you’re trying to cover, that’s all. I felt like I needed a lot of things because I wasn’t happy with many aspects of my life and I thought that having more tangible things, was going to replace the lack of intangible ones and of course, I was very wrong.
Too much? I know, it was a crazy decade. However, I did learn A LOT of lessons! Most of them the hard way, but what can I do about that?
As for what I’m looking forward in my thirties? I’m kind of excited to experience what people say is the best decade, even though I’m having a hard time accepting that I’m not a 20 something anymore LOL. No, but really, all jokes aside, I can’t wait to see what’s next for me. I have faith it will be another decade full of experiences and moments that will continue to teach me how to be better and what my journey on this earth is really about.
Which, just to be clear, has nothing to do with the picture below hahaha
Lastly, I just want to say thank you! If you’re reading this post it means you’ve been a part of my journey over the past 2-3 years, or if you just recently discovered this blog I’m extremely grateful for you too! It means the world to me to be able to share my thoughts, feelings and outfits in this space called ‘Ways of Style’, and I do not take for granted how blessed I am for having you guys, my friends and family supporting my every move.
Thank you for being a part of my journey! Cheers to 30!
My best year so far! I say this every year 😉
Love you all!
PS: Another lesson learned… Dating apps are not that bad hahahaha
This is my love. His name is Gordon and we met on Tinder almost a year ago! He’s my rock and he’s becoming my roomie real soon. I’m so excited to start living this new decade with such a beautiful soul by my side.
I’m the lucky one.
*Insert heart-eyes emoji*
Photo credit: My friend @yosmertmphotography
He’s pretty awesome, so if you need a photographer in Chicago, make sure to call him or follow him on Instagram.