“Sometimes having it all can make you feel nothing.
Sometimes having nothing, can make you feel like you have everything.”
Hi guys! Happy Humpday!
It’s been weeks since I started writing this post.
To be honest I wasn’t sure if I should share it because it’s very personal. It was hard at first, but writing is sort of therapeutic for me. I’ve realized that sometimes I don’t even know how I feel until I start writing and my hands are able to express exactly what’s going on inside. I’m weird, I know.
As some of you already know, I moved to Chicago in May 2014. I made that decision earlier in life, but I never had the balls to execute it. Without a doubt, God’s timing is always perfect. I still don’t know why I chose to come here by myself after getting married and when it seemed like I had it all covered. I had an apartment, a car, a job, a husband, amazing friends and family and everything I thought I ever wanted, but I felt so empty and depressed all the time. It wasn’t good. Despite having it all, I felt like I was dead inside.
“Don’t settle for the good if you can go for the great.”
I didn’t know back then that I needed to meet new people and make new friends or do things for the first time. I was so focused on achieving perfection and pleasing everyone around me that I ended up losing myself and of course; losing authenticity. I can’t explain how or why, but there was something inside me, bigger than myself or anything I’ve ever experienced, constantly telling me to make a HUGE step and to get out of my comfort zone. The phrase “If you don’t like where you are, move! You are not a tree!” was being played in my head over and over again.
I didn’t know until a year ago that I was a creative person. I mean who has time for creativity when you have a job that sucks the life out of you? Or when you spend your free time complaining about little silly things that you just can’t fix!? I look back and can’t help but thinking if I could have been a better person, or a better wife, or friend, or daughter, or sister… I guess there’s nothing wrong with looking back and I’m not giving myself grace, but right now I’m trying not to get stuck thinking of all the things I’ve could have done and I didn’t. I won’t do that to myself again.
‘Do not despise the day of small beginnings”
I left a lot behind. It hasn’t been easy. It hasn’t been always fun. I have three jobs and the blog. I use to hate those jobs, but they pay the bills and leave me with ‘time’ to do what I love to do, even though I basically do it for free. I’m certain that having God present in my life has made a huge different. He works in mysterious ways and no matter how hard you pray things won’t always go your way. However, when you are able to change your perspective about the things around you, (especially the ones you can’t change) it’s when you start growing and becoming a better person. Right now, I’m able to find something good in everyday and that’s something I couldn’t do before. Instead I was extremely talented in finding something bad out of all the great things I had and took for granted.
I encourage you to do more of the things that set your soul on fire and pay less attention to the things that don’t. Make some bold decisions and follow your heart. As the great Steve Jobs once said in one of his most famous speeches:
“Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Do not settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Do not settle.”
If you need some inspiration you can read that entire speech here. My sister Alicia sent this to me once and I kept it on my nightstand so I could read it anytime. I think that speech is one of the reasons I am where I am today. This part is by far my favorite:
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
This last part is exactly what I did 18 months ago and wanted to choose an outfit that could represent my feelings about this post. When I bought this skirt last year I didn’t even know I was going to have a blog, I just bought it because I wanted something shiny and fancy hanging in my closet waiting to be worn on a special occasion. This is one piece I’m never getting rid off. I wore it for the first time to the “Simply Stylist Event” and that’s when I realized I wanted to do this blogging thing as a job and not just for fun. I styled it with this jacket and scarf to give you an idea of how you can wear a maxi skirt for winter, since it’s considered more of a summer piece. But almost everything in your closet can be used all year round. I promise I’ll show more of that next year!
It is my purpose for you to leave this blog inspired. With outfit ideas of course, but most important; inspired to live a positive, rewarding and happy life. For the first time in my life I’m following my intuition and I’m finally in peace with every decision I’ve made so far. I strongly encourage you to do the same.
Enjoy the rest of your week and thank you so much for stopping by,
Photos by: Haisa from @RedBeyondFood
SHOP THE LOOK
Metallic Pumps: Calvin Klein. Similar here (On sale! $27).
Earrings: Kendra Scott. Sold out in Light Pink but they’re available in Blue as well ($150).
Similar earrings also from Kendra Scott here ($130).