WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Sounds aggressive right?

But really, who do you think you are? What do you think of yourself?

Why do I feel the need to talk about this? Because we are getting real around here and I don’t know the exact answer to that question anymore. I mean, I know I’m strong, smart and independent or at least that’s what I tell myself, but lately, I don’t feel like I’m acting like a strong, smart, independent woman.

I’m going through something and I don’t know exactly what that something is. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought and maybe, just maybe, it has to do with the fact that I’m turning 30 in a few months and my life looks nothing like I thought it would be. And by nothing I mean nothing! (Financially, professionally, personally). Or maybe it has to do with the fact that people are killing each other in my home country (Venezuela – Read about it here). Or maybe it has to do with the fact that my very best friend (aka my sister Alicia) is back there (in Venezuela) where people are dying everyday, with the two girls I love the most in this world (my nieces) and I don’t know when I’ll see them again. Or could it be that I’m not even sure of this blog anymore and I’m actually thinking of going back to a full time job? Or maybe because I sometimes feel the expiration date on my dad’s life because he’s sick? Who knows right?

While all of this happens I still have to create ‘pretty’ content and post regularly on Instagram, so people think I have the coolest job in the world and that everything’s fucking fine. Well, it’s not.

This is not by any means a negative post or a rant, I just felt the need of having some real talk and spark a conversation about who do you think you are. Especially when life doesn’t go your way. Do you give up easily? How do you handle yourself when everything that can go wrong actually goes wrong? Who do you think you are when shit goes down?

I think a lot of myself. First, and most importantly, I am blessed. I consider myself lucky, and for the most part I try really hard to live a positive life. But, some days, like today, I feel bad and I feel like giving up on everything and just sell all my belongings and buy a ticket to that lonely island with a palm tree that people used as a computer wallpaper back in the day, and sit there alone, forever, with a beer and just stare at the horizon. But that’s not real life, is it? That’s not being an adult. And to you my lovely readers, who according to Google Analytics are 70% under the age of 25, take some advice from this old lady. Here’s what I’ve learned:

  • When it comes to being brave, no one can tell the difference when you’re just pretending. So, even when you’re afraid, always pretend to be brave. Always.
  • One of the biggest skills you can develop for yourself is to focus on what’s keeping you together, not on what’s tearing you apart. (Note to self: Need to focus on this right now)
  • It’s perfectly OK to have bad days, but don’t let a bad day make you think you have a bad life. Remember that being down and sad and angry and disappointed, builds character and there’s not a better feeling in this world than surviving a rough patch. Nothing beats feeling high after you’ve been low. Nothing.
  • Find something that works as therapy for you. For me, it’s writing. Hence this article, that I’m sure I’ll want to erase in a week (But I won’t). Although I wish my way of dealing with things was working out instead of eating mac & cheese and pizza while binge watching the Gilmore Girls. God knows I’d be in much better shape. Anyway, find out what works for you.

And this one, God this one is the most important one of all…

  • Surround yourself with the right people. The people that believe in you and your dreams, especially when you can’t see them yourself. The people that will bring you back to life. The ones that will tell you all the things that you need to hear, even when you don’t want to. The ones who share your vision and go out of their way just to see you smile and the ones who will clean up your tears when you don’t feel like smiling. Find people to do stuff with because we were not created to be alone and the things you end up doing with your life aren’t going to be nearly as interesting or important as who you do them with.

I really needed to be reminded all of this today… Seriously. Writing is so powerful to me. I don’t know how I really feel until I write it down. It’s crazy!

Well guys, I hope this post helps!

Have a great weekend and thank you so much for stopping by. If it’s not too much to ask please share some advice that you consider valuable. I would love to hear how you cope with things and who do you think you are when things aren’t going right.

Sending much love your way!

XO,
 
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This post is dedicated to all my loved ones, friends and family. Thank you so much for keeping me grounded.

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Showing 29 comments
  • Alyssa Moore
    Reply

    Hey Girl, you just went in. You kept it real and raw. I love when people show their true sides because not everything is glam and perfect. I admire you so much for releasing what you did because it makes you feel better in your thoughts. If I can give you one piece of advice it would be simply this; ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY. LIVE IN THE NOW. My motto is “everyone grows at different rates.” There are people your age who are more successful than you. There are people that are not. People grow at their own times. What you have in your life is meant for you. So all you can do is take it day by day and live in the now. NEVER GIVE UP. When you feel like this I would totally recommend taking a break from it all. Catch up a book, catch up on movie, catch up on a bubble bath, enjoy a spa day. Love, EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT THE WAY IT NEEDS TOO. Stay strong and Alicia and your Nieces will be in my prayers and so will you Dad xoxo Alyssa

  • Thomas Falkenstedt
    Reply

    Well I most certainly belong to your demographics, hun, but I still take the advice especially as I need it right now. I’m in the midst of doing fashion week for men (all five of them) and am on the road thinking, is this really what I want to/should/am supposed to do? I do talk to God every morning, day and night and that (He) helps me a lot and keeps me on this track I’ve chosen. For now. Nothing says that isn’t going to change in the future, but right now I need to act brave (like you said) and stay strong. If it doesn’t work out, what the freak, we can always go back to a day job but I don’t think neither you or me need to babe! Try to hang in there even on those bad days!
    xoxo
    Thomas

  • Diana
    Reply

    I am truly sorry for all things that going one. Sorry that you father is sick as well, when my parents are sicks (they live in other country), I am ready to give everything what I have.Totally feel you, it is also so sad to watch news and see what is going on in this crazy world, and worth feeling all people think that we are bloggers don’t care! which is not true! Stay strong dear, you are so lucky that you got chance to live in country where is everything “fine”. I always thanks God for giving me a chance for better life.

    http://www.queenhorsfall.com/

  • Warren Pasi
    Reply

    Dear Aimara! thanks for the great advice and being I honest I really needed to read it! Hope you and your family are well XOWP

  • Jessie
    Reply

    I love this post!!!!!

    and I love those advises you have written above! Sometimes I actually think about who am I really is and what I want to archive in life. I feel like sometimes we have been too hard on yourself to archive goals in life and it’s totally okay to have a bad day and feel compassion about yourself! Thanks for sharing such a great post and promote our thoughts on who we really are!

    xx, Jessie
    http://4evajessie.com/getting-beach-ready-with-na-kd/

  • Jacqueline.
    Reply

    Girl, this spoke to me on so many levels. I’ve been feeling that same way for so long and I’m about to be 30 too. I think it’s just one of those things where we’re really reflecting on who we are and who we want to be and I think it’s great! I even shared an excerpt of this post on my IG cause I love it so much. I’m so glad you find therapy in writing and how transparent you were in this post. You’re killing it! And I know we all have our bad days. Stay positive friend.

  • Sheree
    Reply

    No friggin way you are turning 30!! You look like you can pass for early 20’s and that is a compliment. This post is very real and thought provoking just like your Venezuela post. I love that you have poured all of your thoughts and emotions out there, so raw and exposed and vulnerable but through the process of digesting it all, finding pieces of yourself. I think 30 is a critical age for many because it truly makes the entry to adult world, you can no longer justify inexperience for all your mistakes. I agree with Jen, focus on the posotive even when there is so much negativity in the world, be thankful for every breathe, every glass of fresh water, being in a country that is not in poverty and struggle with the day to day. Every year my daughter (who will be turning 3) and I make a trip to the battered women and children’s center to make our annual donation and I am always reminded how fortunate I am. Sorry for the long comment, but I hope it helps 🙂

    xo Sheree
    PoshClassyMom.com

  • Maryam
    Reply

    This is such a great post and I applaud you for writing it and sharing with us. There’s so much here that I can personally relate to. I like what you said about “it’s ok to have a bad day”. As a child, I was told that it’s not ok so I always used to fake a front and pretend which eventually got to me. As I grew up and experienced life, I finally realized that it’s totally ok. I don’t have to always have it together, but it’s important to remind yourself, that you just having a bad day and not whole life is that way and try to focus on the positive side of things.

    xx, Maryam
    http://www.glamandposh.com

  • Kayla Amadasun
    Reply

    I am going to have to agree with below, there is no way you are turning 30! You’re gorgeous, you look way younger than me! lol But I completely understand what you mean. Somedays are really good, and others I literally want to lock myself in my room, cry, give up on everything I’ve worked hard for, and not come out! I struggle with anxiety and it’s really hard to control my thoughts and not let them affect me to the point of where I feel like giving up and how I get myself out of that mood. Yoga has helped, I do therapy every now and then, and pray a ton! Just keep going, you are amazing at what you do, and strong enough to fight through it all! xoxo

  • Eva
    Reply

    I like the idea of ​​surrounding you with people who are worth those who bring joy, those who love you and who are sincere and keep far away the bad ones, because there are so many I always try to do this if I can’t even prefer to be alone. Like now in a park with my dogs working with the computer haha ❤️
    Xx
    Eva
    http://www.themermaidfashion.com

  • Everest
    Reply

    Your advice on being brave is so true! Sadly in this world it is not acceptable to show the weak side to the world. I wish I had read such an advice earlier cos I gotten myself into some disadvantageous positions becos of that. Being with friends and family that support and encourage you is important.
    I pray for the well being and peace of Venzuela and its people
    Kisses,
    Everest

  • Madison
    Reply

    Girl! This post is SO relatable, thank you for sharing. I have the same thoughts some days but always try to think of the positive. Writing helps me a lot as well – but nothing some wine and pasta can’t fix! Sending good vibes your way, babe! xx

  • Brown Eyed Toast
    Reply

    Wait hold up, can I just say, you look SO young! And I truly mean that in the best way – flawless skin, beautiful smile and style, plus the cutest looks!! So you’ve definitely got that going for you babe 🙂

    And of course, I have to applaud you for writing this post! It’s never easy to expose our less than ideal days to audiences who probably see nothing but the pretty perfection on social media. But such is real life! I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been going through so many struggles and admire how strong you’ve been. It’s definitely hard to smile and pretend everything is ok. But as you said, you have to at least pretend! Someone once told me that, it’s not a matter of how much better someone else is doing- it’s a matter of how much better they are at pretending. Surrounding yourself with the right people is also key! It sounds like you have an amazing support system, and that’s really good to hear.

    Thank you for being so vulnerable, brave, and honest in this post. It’s truly inspirational, and I’ll definitely be praying for you girl!

    xo Soo | http://www.BrownEyedToast.com

  • marcy
    Reply

    Such a beautiful post babe!!! Im so glad you really write this post because people tent to say bloggers life are just perfect but they are only seeing the content that we create and make a judgement based on that. People have no idea the things we live deep inside. I’m very emotional and praying for Venezuela everyday. I hope things get better. On the other hand you are such an inspiration for me and I’m sure for many out there please don’t give up on this beautiful blog. All your opinions and tips are so useful for all of us.

    xoxo
    Marcy

  • Wanderlustts
    Reply

    I think we often set such a high expectation for ourselves that we often end up being somewhere completely different and wondering how we got there. But that isn’t to say your new destination is bad, i guess its just unexpected is all. It’s wonderful that you end up finding something else amazing that you never thought you’d be apart of, such as blogging full time.
    Surrounding ourselves with the right type of people is so important. It’s all about being positive and spreading good vibes.

    Wanderlustts.com
    wanderlust

  • Michelle
    Reply

    First of all, how are you an old lady? I’m 42 and I still feel like a kid some days. And your advice for being brave is spot on. Fake it till you make it! My blog is my therapy too. And I talk to myself a lot LOL. You may struggle but you have to accept that when you blog others hear your voice. You become a role model. Know you have a purpose and that you are helping people. All you can do is – do the best you can and stay positive 🙂
    XO
    http://www.lehoarder.com/

  • Open Kloset
    Reply

    Hey Love ,
    How are you?
    This post was very Deep and Honet.
    I am sorry if you are going trough some bad moments, and We all do sometimes but to be Thankful I think the Best what can turn us to more positive even if we are worried or we are stressed.
    For me Meditations helps a lot for example.
    I hope everything will be okay with your Life and sending you Love…
    Love Kisses
    Open Kloset By Karina

  • Aurela lacaj
    Reply

    I actually teared up a bit as I had a really shitty day at work. I am exhausted of pretending everything is fine when is not, miss my boy being away, my family too and try keeping my dream alive (which is my blog) and my full time job that I don’t enjoy as much has been a struggle for me. And I am much older than you are, so you aren’t alone. All of us go through ups and downs regardless how old we are or where we at with our lives. Being healthy is the most important thing and having people around you who love you is necessary. Don’t give up, is okay to have a bad day but don’t ever give up hope. Hope you feeling better soon!
    Aurela x
    http://www.aurelafashionista.com

  • Vanessa
    Reply

    Wow I love this! This post really made me think. Not only about who I think I am but what other people think about me. It’s great to be confident in yourself and always know exactly who you are and what’s your purpose on this earth. God works in amazing and sometimes confusing ways buy everything happens for a reason. Lately in this world there has been so much hatred. And the hate against each other will never stop because there are people who are still trying to realize who they are. I strongly believe that one of teh biggest keys to being happy and living life to the fullest is being surrounded by positivity and happy vibes! I love how unique your post is. And I think it’s about time that someone made us stop and think, who are we? So thank you so much for sharing babe, I really enjoyed reading this and realizing that who we are can make a big impact on the world.

    Vanessa, xo!

  • Maggie
    Reply

    Kudos to you for sharing your personal thoughts. You’re definitely going through a rough season and it’s not easy. It may take months or even years to overcome, but keep hanging on. Don’t give up hope.

    I think the way Instagram works, basically a platform for sharing beautiful imagery, often times does create this false sense of reality that everything is always dandy and ok. Truth is, so many people, including myself go through rough times and nobody really knows. But, I think what you said, surrounding yourself with the right people make a world of a difference, is spot on. Social Media can definitely get lonely, but with the right friends, the world doesn’t seem so harsh.

    xoxo,
    Maggie S.
    ❤Clothestomidnight.com

  • Manda
    Reply

    Since seeing this on IG, I’ve been itching to read this post! I think we all go through seasons where we’re forced to grow and unfortunately, we grow the most when we go through struggles. 2017 has been an odd and emotional year for me as well so this post really resonates with me. It’s so easy to go down the spiral. We have one negative thought in our minds and then and hour later we’ve concocted a full story in our heads that simply is not true. I’ve started to try to be intentional when a negative thought comes into my mind. To asses it and replace it with a positive thought in the same category. It helps so much! But also, I’ve learned this year that I can’t ignore and ‘stuff’ I’m going through! WE NEED COMMUNITY to go through life with and be able to express what we are going through so that it does not build up! It’s so helpful to have someone other than a spouse to walk through problems with. You are so right! I too went through the, “Should I really be blogging?” scenario a couple months ago! It looks different for everyone but if you love it and it’s therapeutic for you, continue to do it! Maybe just remove the pressure to grow quickly! Let it evolve naturally without worrying if your on the right path or not! But you’ll know what your feeling on the inside and go with that!

    Manda | http://EvocativelyChosen.com

  • Lana
    Reply

    First of all thank for this post, people nowadays are not brave enough to talk about these things. Second, you are right: everybody has bad periods and everybody has to deal with it. Every person (even the richest, happiest and smartest (those ones even more) has their own problems, big or small it doesn’t matter, so you are not alone. Everybody fighting, struggling and loose their way. But you should never give up, NEVER. What helps me, personally – is focus on small things that make me happy: drink a coffee in my favourite place, watch my favourite movie, eat ice cream, go to the shelter and walk with a homeless dog (best medicine), etc. And then day by day I feel that everything becomes better. Just stay strong girl and keep fighting for a better life.

    http://lanaluu.com

  • Natalia k
    Reply

    Thankyou for this personal post and sharing your thoughts and feelings and the real you.
    I think we all feel this way especially us bloggers.
    Sharing pretty pictures and the beautiful side of life and not showing what’s really goes on it’s all part of the parcel of life on Instagram.Sad but true.
    Of course that’s only one side of life and there’s many more.
    It’s so sad about what’s going on in the world and in your hometown and I hope your family will be safe.
    I think if you do enjoy blogging then you should continue to do it and maybe have a break and rest up and then you will know if that’s what you really want to do.
    Thanks for sharing all these tips yes we all need to be brave just like you honey
    Xo
    Natalia k

  • Eliza
    Reply

    Thanks for being honest with us. It’s so important to see the real person behind the blog, to know his struggles and thoughts. Everyone is going through something every single day, but it’s so important to share. I think, it really helps to overcome this struggle, to move on and despite everything stay positive. This is the most important thing.

    Cheers, Eliza | http://www.fashion-confession.com

  • Candace
    Reply

    No worries girl! I’m 27 and I thought I would be at the point I am much earlier than now. Unfortunately though, things don’t work on our time, only on God’s. I’ve definitely learned lately to surround myself with other positive people, who are growth and goal oriented. There’s nothing worse than being around someone negative who’s in the same place she was 10 years ago. There’s definitely nothing wrong with having bad days. As long as the good outweigh the bad, that’s how we know we’re going in the right direction 🙂

    http://www.thebeautybeau.com

  • Chr
    Reply

    Thank you for sharing this post. It is so true that what we see on social media and Instagram is not real life. We only choose to share the happy parts, the beautiful parts of our lives while there is so much more going on behind the scenes. I am sorry that you are going through a difficult time right now but the most important thing to know is that you are NOT alone. All of us go through difficulties and dark periods and it’s okay. It’s okay to be down and vent a little. No one is perfect despite what we want people to think. I believe that writing this post did help you a little – to vent, figure out a way out of it, and to make it into something positive and helpful for others. Where there are bad days, there are also many good days ahead and take it from someone who is in her 30’s, these are the best years yet. So hang in there dear, because life does get much better in your 30’s! xoxo, Christine
    http://dailykongfidence.com/

  • VALE
    Reply

    Dear Aimara, even before reading your letter to Venezuela I could tell you were a consistent person. Although you post glossy pictures of cool outfits here and on Instagram, you sound like a humble person who knows what real life is. My personal advice is to love yourself more in this moment of crisis. You must be proud of yourself, for engaging in this new blogging adventure and all the while having to deal with the pains that real life puts you through. With your sister back in Venezuela and your dad sick, you can’t expect of yourself to be all smiles and optimism every single day. On the other hand, please don’t give up on this blog. Not only because you are very good at it, but because you need some frivolities and a reason to smile, even though you don’t always feel like it. Big hugs and positive vibes from your Italian friend, Valeria

  • Reply

    I truly love everything about this and I actually read it a few times. I really believe that focusing on the positive EVEN when there is so much negativity and downright hatred in the world makes ALL the difference. Even if we have to force ourselves to be grown ups and rise above we just must.

  • Alicia Mayorca
    Reply

    Ca-lla-te! you just made me cry… everything will be fine you little turd! God works in mysterious ways, you should know that by now! you will always be fine! we will always be fine!

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